Closed Captioned by the Gramatically Impaired?

This morning, I'm at Boot Camp at the Y, sweating it out on the ArcTrainer (which is my new favorite machine in the gym, I love it!) and I'm plugged into the little audio theater system they have going, watching the morning news. Well, since not everyone is lucky enough to have headphones on hand (or on ear, as it may be...) each television has the closed captioning on.
Anyway, I'm watching as Matt O'Donnell gives the latest and greatest on world news, and he refers to something regarding the "Venezuelan" government...

Only the closed captioning says, "Vein as whale."

Now, I understand that it is probably rather difficult to keep up with how fast the anchors speak, however... WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I myself am a lightning fast typist, averaging about 85 WPM without mistakes, and I can get close to 100 wpm with errors... I too find it very hard to keep up with dictation, even when it's coming from my boss in the next room. But "vein as whale?" Come on now. it probably took just as much time to type that, as it would have to figure out Venezuelan, even if it wasn't spelled properly... (I say this because I just tried typing Venezuelan and found myself questioning the order of the letters!)

So as I'm wrapping up my workout, finding myself picking up each and every last mistake I can see... and I'm thinking to myself, I can do this! How does one go about getting a job as a closed captioning translator/reporter/person? Is this a high paying job? (I'm guessing not...) Is there room for growth? But it sure seems like it might be fun, to translate everything the people on TV are saying for those who don't have the luxury of hearing. I'm sure that someone who is seasoned in the job and has their margin of error down significantly can sneak in the occasional joke or spoof of a word, but VEIN AS WHALE? What language are these people hearing? And why on earth would the VEIN AS WHALE government be doing anything that anyone cares about? LOL

I just found it rather amusing. And quite honestly, I'm looking forward to my 6:30 am cardio sessions at the Y, just so I can observe the closed captioning mishaps!

And I shall now begin my campaign to become a closed captioning artiste.

260 days, divided by 30 pounds = WTF?!

Well, here goes. I am going to throw myself headfirst into this process... and I have to admit, I'm scared.

Let's back up... in January of 2005, I was the heaviest I think I'd ever been, and Jen Rudolph (nee Ford) was getting married in April of that year. I was her Maid Of Honor. The dress had been ordered in "my size" which I vowed would NOT be "my size" by the time I had to wear it for real. So I started doing Weight Watchers with my Mom, and increasing my exercise (from very little to a lot!). Because of this dramatic change to my metabolism, I was able to shed the weight very quickly, and happily! I didn't feel as though I was changing my habits TOO much but enough that it was making a pleasant difference. By her wedding, I had lost about 18 pounds and the dress was pretty much sliding off me. I had to run around all night with my arms at my sides to keep it up! But it didn't stop at Jen's wedding. I continued to go to the gym, play soccer, and eat right, and by July when I went to the Jersey Shore with my family, I was the lightest and trimmest I'd been since high school, having lost approximately 29 lbs total. I felt alive. I felt great! I felt sexy! And the most important thing to me... people noticed. I know it should be more important for you to feel it yourself, but I liked the feeling of hearing, "oh Lindy, have you lost weight?" or "wow, have you been working out?" repeatedly. It helped make me want to work harder, you know?

But I got too comfortable, and too confident. As summer melted into Fall, I began falling off the wagon. I stopped going to WW meetings as frequently. I went on vacation a few times and stuffed myself silly (which is what you're supposed to do on vacation, right?!) but then, instead of being careful once I got home, I continued eating poorly. As fall gradually transitioned to winter, I wasn't outdoors exercising as much (outdoor soccer ends in November) and by December, I had put about half of the weight I'd lost back on. And of course, the celebration continued even beyond the holidays, because right after we'd returned from a wonderful vacation to Disneyworld, Dave asked me to marry him! And as you can imagine, that gave way to celebratory dinners, parties, and other events that included things that are detrimental to a diet. :) Ultimately, I realized, I am NOT one of those people that can lose weight easily. It takes a lot of determination and discipline and it was not something that I was willing to upkeep... I sorta took it for granted, and it came back to bite me in the ass.

So anyway, we set our wedding date, for June 9, 2007. This gave me approximately 18 months to figure out how to get myself into primo wedding shape. I kept saying to myself, ok, come January, I'll start. Ok, February.

Ok March.

And so on, and so forth. By the spring, I'd promised myself that I would be back to my same bikini bod size from the previous summer, for our second annual trip to the shore together. Didn't happen. Not even close. I had gone back to WW again with Mom in May, but found myself not taking it seriously, skipping meetings for stupid reasons... and just not "into it."

So here I am, September of 2006, just under nine months away from my wedding. And I'm about 30-35 lbs away from where I want to be. Now... since I did it last time, in less than 6 months, I know I can do it again. However, it won't be as easy this time. My body is already used to a certain level of exercise, a certain diet, and a certain maintenance. So I have to really find ways to motivate, to challenge, and to kickstart myself into weight loss and a healthy habit readjustment.

But I have extremely different circumstances surrounding me now. The most important being Dave. We live together, and our bodies do not react the same way to food. While he can eat a quart of ice cream and think nothing of it, I'll be paying for it for a month. Luckily, I'm the shopper in the family so I can select healthier choices and "light" alternatives of the things we like to eat. But it's still going to be a struggle. Mr. "I like to clean my plate and then some" doesn't really understand the concept of watching weight vs. portion control! Hmmm... so here I sit, ready to make this committment to myself. Ready to drink the water. Ready to get my lazy ass to the gym four days a week instead two or three.

And my first step has been accomplished... I joined the YMCA in Phoenixville, and enrolled in several classes, including a very intense cardio and weight training "Boot Camp" class, that meets twice a week from 5:30 am-7 am. It's TOUGH... but it's worthwhile and I like my classmates and my instructor. It will go until early December... hopefully I'll make it through! I'm also taking a spinning class... which I found, is ridiculously harder than it looks, and you really get a solid workout from it. So these are good steps in the right direction, right?

I am setting some mini-goals weight loss goals. The first being, I want to look good and feel good in my bikini by the time Mo and I set sail for Jamaica and Grand Cayman this December 9th (for our 2nd annual girls trip! YAY!). I'm probably about 10-15 lbs away from that. My second mini-goal will be shortly thereafter... my first wedding dress fitting. It'll come in, in my "current" size, in January or thereabouts. And I'd imagine I'll go in and try it on at that point, see what alternations have to be made. My hope is that it's too big, even at that point, and even bigger by the time my last fitting rolls around in May!

After all... the thought of standing up in front of 200 of your closest friends and family and having all eyes on you should be enough for me to want to make this happen! But not just for the wedding, for good!!!!!! Wish me luck, everyone... I know I can do it... can't I???

Footy Football

Well, today was a day of firsts. The first Eagles game of the season (nice win, Birds!), and my team's first fall soccer game. We actually did really well out of the gates, scoring 3 goals in the first 25 minutes of the game... and keeping the other team at zero in that time. But as the clock ticked on, we began to grow tired. By the last 20 minutes, it was evident that most of our team had given up, and we ended up losing 4-3. Now, we do have several new players this season (which is awesome!) and we were all trying to work out the kinks, and get used to playing together. But nonetheless it was frustrating to have gone from such a significant lead to a disappointing loss. And I'm just as much to blame as the other 10 people on that field (and the 4 we had on the sideline).

Anyway, it felt good to get out there and run again... and I personally thought I had a good game, scoring 1/3 of our team's goals. I am eager to see how my performance improves throughout the season (or at least, my endurance) since my fitness boot camp and self-induced weight loss program has now officially begun. I had dinner with Jami after the game, and I told her, just watch, 3-4 weeks from now I'll be 100% BEYOND where I was today.

Here's to getting in shape and owning up to that!

Who's Your Daddy?

Ok, so the prodigal daughter has finally been revealed to the world. And I, like everyone else who even remotely follows Hollywood Gossip, am pleased to see that she's real. Quite honestly, I don't know why I care, it's not my child, nor a child that belongs to anyone even remotely important to me... but I guess I just wanted to see her. Not to mention, she is a very cute little baby. But consider the sources... she got awesome genes. As much as a Tom Cruise fan as I am NOT... I still think he's very attractive, esp in his younger years, and Suri's mom isn't so bad herself.

Part of my fascination, too, was the whole Scientology thing, how Tom got Katie to "convert" and they are raising Suri in the tradition of Scientologists. It's all very wacky and crazy to me, and while I respect all people's forms of beliefs and religions, this one is so commercialized, so popularized by Hollywood... (think Kaballah a few years back... thanks Madonna and DemiAshton) And because it is sorta kooky, waiting for the spaceship to come and everything... (forgive me any readers who are Scientologists, if my musing is insulting to your practices and beliefs!!!!) I can't help but find myself watching in awe as one of Hollywood's greatest actors brings a child into this world, raising her in the ways of this very "different" belief system. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. R


So yes, I did dedicate an entire blog entry to a Hollywood baby. I admit it. I'm a Hollywood gossip whore. I won't deny it. But hey... something's gotta get you through the day, right?