I have just realized - I overuse the ellipsis (sp?) like no one's business. Perhaps I'll try to blog a bit without any .........................................................
fat chance.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Me and Mayor McCheese
I had to copy and paste this from a website I found. Thank you to the person from whom I ripped this off... I give you full credit. This one is for you, Jay! You lazy hooker!
ME AND MAYOR McCHEESE
La da da, la Mc Dah nah's La da da da da da Kroc La da da da la da da da got a Mayor McCheese (etc.)
Lord I called him my Whopper I called him Big Mac I said I called him Hamburglar but I took it back, c'mon Hey, no Grimace now Hey ya Mayor McCheese, yeah I'm a-lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' it Weigh - too - much - Thanks to McD's...
ME AND MAYOR McCHEESE
Parody of Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee"
Lyrics by M. Spaff Sumsion
Back in line at Mickey D's ,Jonesin' for a shake And I's feelin' near as greasy as my fries
Pickin' up a double cheese For our double date Although I knew he'd go straight to my thighs
I grabbed condim-ents In them squarish plastic packets 'n we slipped off behind the drive-tha-roough Filled our orders - special ones Like hold the pickle, toast my buns We tried every treat on his men-u
Nugget's just another word For no meat left to use Nuggets - if ya got 'em honey, please show me I hope you got 'em Super Size 'cause that's the size I choose Ya know, Biggie Size ain't big enough for me Big enough for me and my Mayor McCheese
From the Kentucky chicken To the California rolls McCheesy shared his off-the-menu deals Through all kinds of munchies From when we smoked McBowls The mayor put the Happy in my Meals
One day at Super Wal-Mart, though He fled the Mickey D's He's lookin' for fresh meat and I hope he finds it But I miss them special sauces Come and slip me mo yo beef Honey, even if I catch mad cow disease
Freedom's just another word For blowin' off the French Freedom - that's the way the mayor kissed me And when I cried for freedom fries he knew just what I meant Some freedom bread, a freedom wine, and thee Wear that freedom tickler, Mayor McCheese
Back in line at Mickey D's ,Jonesin' for a shake And I's feelin' near as greasy as my fries
Pickin' up a double cheese For our double date Although I knew he'd go straight to my thighs
I grabbed condim-ents In them squarish plastic packets 'n we slipped off behind the drive-tha-roough Filled our orders - special ones Like hold the pickle, toast my buns We tried every treat on his men-u
Nugget's just another word For no meat left to use Nuggets - if ya got 'em honey, please show me I hope you got 'em Super Size 'cause that's the size I choose Ya know, Biggie Size ain't big enough for me Big enough for me and my Mayor McCheese
From the Kentucky chicken To the California rolls McCheesy shared his off-the-menu deals Through all kinds of munchies From when we smoked McBowls The mayor put the Happy in my Meals
One day at Super Wal-Mart, though He fled the Mickey D's He's lookin' for fresh meat and I hope he finds it But I miss them special sauces Come and slip me mo yo beef Honey, even if I catch mad cow disease
Freedom's just another word For blowin' off the French Freedom - that's the way the mayor kissed me And when I cried for freedom fries he knew just what I meant Some freedom bread, a freedom wine, and thee Wear that freedom tickler, Mayor McCheese
La da da, la Mc Dah nah's La da da da da da Kroc La da da da la da da da got a Mayor McCheese (etc.)
Lord I called him my Whopper I called him Big Mac I said I called him Hamburglar but I took it back, c'mon Hey, no Grimace now Hey ya Mayor McCheese, yeah I'm a-lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' lovin' it Weigh - too - much - Thanks to McD's...
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Manilow said it best... Weekend in New England
I have to go to Massachusettes this weekend to help my dad bury his mother.
I really can't say that I feel all that badly about it. I'm more selfishly pissed that my stupid boyfriend isn't coming with me but I guess I'm going to have to get over that.
He has to go get his parents at the airport... which is fine and dandy, except he only conveniently remembered that this two days ago. Talk about a buzzkill. I was still flying high from Monday night's insanity.
But back to the issue at hand... so I'm going to Boston. I can't wait to go back! Although it sorta makes me sad... because at one time, I had ten zillion people to see in Boston. And now I can only think of 2 or 3 who will even return my phone calls... let alone make time to see me. I get to see my lovely Andrea this weekend which will be fantastic. We have been engaged in the most ridiculously stupid game of phone tag for months... gah! And I will hopefully see Beth Ann. That girl is one of the most loyal long-distance friends I've ever had. I'm putting in a few more phone calls to other Bostonians but most of them are selfish assholes who chose not to put forth effort upon our departure from BU and clearly don't give a shit about where I am anymore. But whatever, that's neither here nor there. What the fuck ever happened to Liz Spurrell? Liz if you're out there, would you please drop me a line? HELLO?
So it's time to put Grandma McCord in the ground. What a sad sad existance she led for the past seven years. My Dad is right, Alzheimers is the Devil. I guess that is why I'm really not so sad about her passing... because I feel as though I lost her a long time ago. But she lost me even before she was diagnosed. The woman clearly felt my education and my pursuits for success were a waste and had no trouble expressing that. But of course my brother could do no wrong. Oh God don't get me started.
I really can't say that I feel all that badly about it. I'm more selfishly pissed that my stupid boyfriend isn't coming with me but I guess I'm going to have to get over that.
He has to go get his parents at the airport... which is fine and dandy, except he only conveniently remembered that this two days ago. Talk about a buzzkill. I was still flying high from Monday night's insanity.
But back to the issue at hand... so I'm going to Boston. I can't wait to go back! Although it sorta makes me sad... because at one time, I had ten zillion people to see in Boston. And now I can only think of 2 or 3 who will even return my phone calls... let alone make time to see me. I get to see my lovely Andrea this weekend which will be fantastic. We have been engaged in the most ridiculously stupid game of phone tag for months... gah! And I will hopefully see Beth Ann. That girl is one of the most loyal long-distance friends I've ever had. I'm putting in a few more phone calls to other Bostonians but most of them are selfish assholes who chose not to put forth effort upon our departure from BU and clearly don't give a shit about where I am anymore. But whatever, that's neither here nor there. What the fuck ever happened to Liz Spurrell? Liz if you're out there, would you please drop me a line? HELLO?
So it's time to put Grandma McCord in the ground. What a sad sad existance she led for the past seven years. My Dad is right, Alzheimers is the Devil. I guess that is why I'm really not so sad about her passing... because I feel as though I lost her a long time ago. But she lost me even before she was diagnosed. The woman clearly felt my education and my pursuits for success were a waste and had no trouble expressing that. But of course my brother could do no wrong. Oh God don't get me started.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Have A Nice Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy fucking Bon Jovi, Batman!
I am still not able to convince myself that last night really happened.
How did I get so lucky? Kari May, you are my hero!
All I have to say is that his fucking teeth are so much whiter in person, his hair is so much more beautiful... OMG he is a goddamned Adonis. Okay so I'm totally overreacting... but anyone who knows me well (which is probably whoever is reading this blog...) knows that it's been my lifelong conquest to meet him. And who'd have thought that a roadie smoking a cigarette would tip me off to my destiny?
I can't wait to get home and listen to the new album today. Should be good... they previewed some songs last night. Somehow I'm not feeling fatigued, even though I was bouncing around the Staten Island Ferry at 3 am... hmmm go figure.
What a night.
I am still not able to convince myself that last night really happened.
How did I get so lucky? Kari May, you are my hero!
All I have to say is that his fucking teeth are so much whiter in person, his hair is so much more beautiful... OMG he is a goddamned Adonis. Okay so I'm totally overreacting... but anyone who knows me well (which is probably whoever is reading this blog...) knows that it's been my lifelong conquest to meet him. And who'd have thought that a roadie smoking a cigarette would tip me off to my destiny?
I can't wait to get home and listen to the new album today. Should be good... they previewed some songs last night. Somehow I'm not feeling fatigued, even though I was bouncing around the Staten Island Ferry at 3 am... hmmm go figure.
What a night.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
To Jen:
Every single IM conversation between us is the same. I know you're sad, I know you're hurt. I wish I could help. But talking to him 100000 times a day and playing his game is not going to help. Texting one another five times a minute, going back and forth, I hate you, I love you... what does that accomplish? You jump like a bunny when the phone rings... God forbid you miss a call or txt from him... then what? You shady bitch, you dishonest selfish bitch... that's the shit he throws at you! You are none of the above, but you have taken to believing him when he slings that slanderous crap at you! That is not you, Jen! Stand the fuck up for yourself!
I think you like it. You like the attention. He rarely gives it to you otherwise, so his constant checking up, his constant attempts to control you, in a sick and twisted way, please you. I know you don't like the feeling sad part... but you're so used to being unhappy with him, I'm not sure you'd even know how to deal if things were good.
And this dude Nate, and Jimi that you keep talking about... why not give them a shot? You are a dreamer, and they seem to share the same dream, the same passion for the unknown, the same frivolous love of life and imagination and hopeless romance that you do. HE doesn't. He never will, and he will only pretend to until he knows he's got you under lock and key again.
He envies you, he despises your happiness and holds it against you by accusing you of being dishonest, shady, etc. And you sit there and take it! You don't defend yourself, you just relinquish your self-confidence and let him make you feel awful. Don't you get sick of that?
I feel guilty being happy lately when I talk to you. I feel like I should share in your despair. Because misery loves company. But I can't. And your indecision is tearing you apart... which it tends to do. Situations like these are not easy. But Christ Almighty, Jen... think for yourself for once. Think of your own happiness, needs, wants, desires, dreams... not of the fear of being alone and unloved and lonely forever. Because you will never be any of those things. You have an aura about you that is completely and totally irresistible. You will always find a way. I have faith in you in that, and I love you dearly but for the love of God Jen... take care of yourself for once and quit worrying about him.
Ok I'm done. If you ever read this, I want you to know I wrote this with the best of intentions. I love you so much and want to see you happy again. I want you to be Jen again, not George's Jen. I am so proud of you for what you've accomplished in your life, especially in the last year with the business and everything... I just see such great things for you and he is holding you back and that makes me sad. But it's like I've said a thousand times before and will say a thousand times again.... whatever you choose to do, I will support you. But for God sake... choose SOMETHING. xoxoxoxoxoxo
I think you like it. You like the attention. He rarely gives it to you otherwise, so his constant checking up, his constant attempts to control you, in a sick and twisted way, please you. I know you don't like the feeling sad part... but you're so used to being unhappy with him, I'm not sure you'd even know how to deal if things were good.
And this dude Nate, and Jimi that you keep talking about... why not give them a shot? You are a dreamer, and they seem to share the same dream, the same passion for the unknown, the same frivolous love of life and imagination and hopeless romance that you do. HE doesn't. He never will, and he will only pretend to until he knows he's got you under lock and key again.
He envies you, he despises your happiness and holds it against you by accusing you of being dishonest, shady, etc. And you sit there and take it! You don't defend yourself, you just relinquish your self-confidence and let him make you feel awful. Don't you get sick of that?
I feel guilty being happy lately when I talk to you. I feel like I should share in your despair. Because misery loves company. But I can't. And your indecision is tearing you apart... which it tends to do. Situations like these are not easy. But Christ Almighty, Jen... think for yourself for once. Think of your own happiness, needs, wants, desires, dreams... not of the fear of being alone and unloved and lonely forever. Because you will never be any of those things. You have an aura about you that is completely and totally irresistible. You will always find a way. I have faith in you in that, and I love you dearly but for the love of God Jen... take care of yourself for once and quit worrying about him.
Ok I'm done. If you ever read this, I want you to know I wrote this with the best of intentions. I love you so much and want to see you happy again. I want you to be Jen again, not George's Jen. I am so proud of you for what you've accomplished in your life, especially in the last year with the business and everything... I just see such great things for you and he is holding you back and that makes me sad. But it's like I've said a thousand times before and will say a thousand times again.... whatever you choose to do, I will support you. But for God sake... choose SOMETHING. xoxoxoxoxoxo
Monday, September 12, 2005
Shine On You Crazy Diamond
This is my Diamond in the rough. He is my bestest. My favorite.
For those of you who doubted it, well, kiss my ass, because I won! I triumphed! I got the trophy! I von dee wrace!
Which is not to say it came easy... he was a tough cookie. He spent the entire first 6 months of our acquaintanceship sleeping... chemically induced, I might add. But my perseverance and undying efforts finally won him over. That, and my cute ass. But regardless... I just have to take a moment to acknowledge and praise, not only myself for not giving up, but him, for finally coming through as the most wonderful amazing partner I could ever ask for. Who has more fun than we do?!
This is a guy who, when he first met me, accepted me for who I was from the start... all 35-additional pounds of me! He never cared about that... although I know he appreciates the effort I put in to improve said problem.
He is smart, he is funny and quick as hell. He is affectionate and loving and genuine and I think he is the bees knees. I think he and I are the luckiest sons of bitches in the world to have gotten caught up in eachother's insanity... we're both stuck there for the long haul. I love you Dave. :)
Friday, September 02, 2005
What's the Haps
Someone asked me recently if I was truly happy. Other than my job being the most painfully stupid and boring place on earth, I answered yes. Some of the things that make me happy are:
my family, my "real" friends, David, soccer, Appetites on Main, the Red Sox, Melbourne Strawberry Ale, my doggies , AOL IM at work when I'm bored (which is pretty much always), Super Mario Brothers, Yatzhee, getting on, my new car...
friends... ha now that's an interesting topic. I am Lindy, the people collector. Everywhere I go I see someone I know. I feel so popular... maybe covering up for my insecurity? I dunno. I like people. I am friendly. I like meeting new folks. But I'm realizing as I travel through life... my real friends are so few and far between anymore. At one point in my life I would have said I had a hundred friends. Now I'm down to about 1/5 that... sure I know lots and lots of people, but a friend is someone you can trust, rely on, count on. And even in that remaining 20... I doubt the integrity of some. But I've been good at weeding out the baddies and keeping the good ones around. I've traded my exentisve people collection for some real gems that I intend to keep forever! You know who you are...
Damn, my life ain't so bad. But it's amazing how your opinion of your life can change in such a short period of time. 18 months ago I was convinced that I would be lonely, miserable, unemployed, and fat forever. And all four of those factors have since changed! Let's just hope I'm not due for 18 mos. of happiness before I plunge into the depths of hell again.
It's time for the bbq. I'm gonna get me a burger.
my family, my "real" friends, David, soccer, Appetites on Main, the Red Sox, Melbourne Strawberry Ale, my doggies , AOL IM at work when I'm bored (which is pretty much always), Super Mario Brothers, Yatzhee, getting on, my new car...
friends... ha now that's an interesting topic. I am Lindy, the people collector. Everywhere I go I see someone I know. I feel so popular... maybe covering up for my insecurity? I dunno. I like people. I am friendly. I like meeting new folks. But I'm realizing as I travel through life... my real friends are so few and far between anymore. At one point in my life I would have said I had a hundred friends. Now I'm down to about 1/5 that... sure I know lots and lots of people, but a friend is someone you can trust, rely on, count on. And even in that remaining 20... I doubt the integrity of some. But I've been good at weeding out the baddies and keeping the good ones around. I've traded my exentisve people collection for some real gems that I intend to keep forever! You know who you are...
Damn, my life ain't so bad. But it's amazing how your opinion of your life can change in such a short period of time. 18 months ago I was convinced that I would be lonely, miserable, unemployed, and fat forever. And all four of those factors have since changed! Let's just hope I'm not due for 18 mos. of happiness before I plunge into the depths of hell again.
It's time for the bbq. I'm gonna get me a burger.
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